(originally written on my CaringBridge page on 1/22/13)
. . . The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.
~ Robert Frost
Sleep. That simple 5-letter word, wildly underestimated until you’re getting very little of it. Sleeeeeep. Often something I’ve been reluctant to do, but don’t want to stop after I’ve started. Lately, sleep has become that simple yet complicated word that’s constantly on my mind . . . especially during the hours that I wish I were visiting its happy, sleepy place. Oddly, it is during the moments of heavy fatigue, an exhaustion I’ve never experienced before, that sleep is so desired—but not found.
Growing up … and maybe even in recent days . . . certain music often puts me into “movie-mode” (Michelle’s roaring out loud right now, because only she totally gets what I’m talking about), when the music becomes a background score to my own life soundtrack. As kids, traveling on long road trips, we would be in the back of the car, with our headphones on, dreamily glancing out the window—the music bringing us into our individual, private utopia. Tonight, I went there—movie-mode . . . only instead of music beckoning me into my movie, it was the peaceful blanket of snow lingering on the trees out my back window that became my life’s score. It was beautiful.
There I was, “Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening”— trapped in a Robert Frost poem. The outward simplicity of this 16-line poem brought so much depth to my movie moment. Like the narrator, lately I find myself often yearning to linger in the quiet solitude of isolation . . . the darkest night, watching the snow fall. In the poem, only through the resounding bell of the horse’s harness, does the narrator finally get jolted to remember the many promises he has to keep . . . miles to go, no time to give up.
Thank you, Lord for reminding me of your promises. I choose hope, knowing that I have many miles to go before I sleep . . .
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.