Heavy Downpour

(written on 12/29/12 originally on my CaringBridge page)

O Lord, give me a strong hope in you that dances in the rain and sings in the silence.

Leslie, the amazing oncological NP who’s been by my side since my first appointment, (calling me every day since)—failed to disappoint yet again.  She called me with the MRI results, which have already been sifted through in preparation for the appointments with the Dana-Farber team on Monday in Boston.  The sensitivity of the imaging allows them to really assess the situation which will impact treatment and surgical measures.  As we already knew, the mass covers a large area.  The MRI results, however, reveal two additional lesions beside the main tumor which have ultimately enhanced the overall “size”.  So this is and isn’t breaking news.  Bottom line:  it’s great they’ve moved quickly on analysis, so that the oncologists Monday will have a more complete picture of my case.  Though I’m ready to get the show on the road … ASAP, I trust that God knows the perfect timing.

When I get down, which I anticipate to be…ummm… a true reality over the course of this journey, I will try to recount the many ways I have seen Divinity at work.  Happenstance is Hogwash.  Seriously.  Remember that every time someone “coincidentally” crosses your path at the right time.  Yesterday’s divine appointment came first thing in the morning prior to my MRI, when I ran into Nancy Jageselvan.  I was a bit edgy at the time, and when I happened to glance over and see her pretty face, I immediately relaxed.  That’s not happenstance.  She blessed me more than she knows with that hug and smile.

Ahh, then there’s Lauren Mathisen.  God is GOOD.  They say we entertain angels unaware, right?  Honestly, Lauren probably doesn’t realize the extent of her anointing, but she has texted me and encouraged me on several occasions . . . exactly what I needed at the exact moment I needed it.  I’ll go with angel.

Thank you for lifting me up.  Through your support, I’m able to keep the down emotions in check.

Exodus 17:8-13 says: “Moses stood on top of the hill with the rod of God in his hand overlooking the battlefield, and as he lifted it up it showed their dependence upon the Lord and there would be no victory without God’s intervention. The Israelites prevailed while the rod was lifted and when Moses’ arms were too tired to lift up the rod, Aaron and Hur found a rock for Moses to sit on and they held up his hands.”

Please continue to pray for me … my arms may get tired along the way.