hope floats

(written on 12/28/12 originally on my CaringBridge page)

Dear Lord, please let my hope always float … always be buoyant and unsinkable … because I am certain of one thing:  Your Love.

If you didn’t know me and my arms were bare, you’d be very concerned that I have taken a walk on the wild & reckless side, with the lovely track marks along my arms.  My veins didn’t want to behave today, and each time they thought they got a line…a valve decided to jump in the mix.  Okay, not to sound like too much of a wuss, but man that really hurts!  So needless to say, switching arms and veins and location over the last few days has really made a mark on my li’l arms.

I started the day with a 45 minute breast MRI.  I didn’t quite know what to expect, given I’ve never had an MRI of any kind, but let’s just say it was awkward.  You are on your stomach, IV in arm, earplugs in, with your breasts hanging in two holes . . . not exactly pictures I’d want to place in my scrapbook.   Pictures, however, were what that little adventure was all about as they took well over a 1000 during my circus act in the capsule.

Next up, echocardiogram (after a tall cup of Joe).  The results from this test will ultimately provide a baseline for the physicians involved in my care, as well as be used as a tool to determine if I can handle a certain chemo med that can potentially cause damage to the heart.  Lovefest continued with the Cardiovascular group who proved also to be fantastic to deal with—kind, compassionate, thorough and knowledgeable.

I bravely meandered into the cancer boutique (to glance and start a wig conversation) and met an incredible woman … a breast cancer survivor who showered me with encouragement, advice, materials and Godly wisdom.  She also runs a support group which I plan to attend.  While in there, she introduced me to a young woman who divinely entered the boutique.  This woman was at the tail end of her breast cancer treatment, in the Center for a massage (there may be perks I wish to tap into down the line).  I was able to talk to her and listen to part of her journey, and she was an incredible beacon of hope.

It was a good day.  I am blessed.